AV SPAM Servers

I've been researching SPAM filtering gateways for Win2k or an appliance and cannot find a single vendor that supplies a product with a built in whitelist of legitimate companies who have an "opt-in" policy. Why is it so difficult to provide the customer with a whitelist? Building one from scratch is an admin nightmare!
Has anyone had any success finding a vendor who has a whitelist or can import one?

FYI, I've tested Elron Software's Message Inspector and found it lacking such a feature and seems to have issues with being used as a relay. Elron is claiming that their next version will allow the client to create their own "white" and "black" lists.

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